Therefore, They Hushed Their Fears

I sleep with a night light because I'm afraid of the dark. I throw salt because I'm scared I'll have bad luck. AND I have a little bit of a panic attack anytime change comes my way. So, it goes without saying that when I needed to leave my family for a business trip, I thought I was going to die... seriously... I WAS GOING TO DIE! 

As my departure day approached, I felt sicker and sicker. It was then that I reached over to read my General Conference Talk of the Month...

In October, I wanted to focus on Therefore They Hushed Their Fears, by Elder Bednar, from the April 2015 conference (https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2015/04/therefore-they-hushed-their-fears?lang=eng).  In his sermon, Elder Bednar outlines three principles that will help us to overcome fear by relying on Christ. They are: (1) look to Christ, (2) build upon the foundation of Christ, and (3) press forward with faith in Christ.

Here was how that played out...

At first I tried living in denial. For the record- that method does not work that well. As September rolled around it was getting clearer that I was going whether I liked it or not. It was then that I stopped reading over Elder Bednar's talk, and really began to study it. That was my first step in looking to Christ to find my peace, because if anyone was going to get me to safety it was Him.

Leaving my family behind was easily the hardest obstacle I've faced in a long time.When I was 16, my Dad passed away while he was on vacation. Leaving my family scared me, but them losing me terrified me. If I were to look to Christ in facing one of my biggest fears, I needed prayer, and I needed it constantly.

Elder Bednar shared, "I envision Peter responding fervently and immediately to the Savior’s invitation. With his eyes fixed upon Jesus, he stepped out of the boat and miraculously walked on the water. Only when his gaze was diverted by the wind and the waves did he become afraid and begin to sink."

One morning, as I said a silent and quick prayer while watching my kids leave for school. It's seems funny now, but I asked God to just bring me home safely, even if I had to return to Him the next day. In response to my prayer, the Lord granted me a deep feeling of comfort and understanding.

My next challenge was embracing that answer, and trusting I would be alright. There were definitely plenty of times when I sank and forgot about my witness, but at least I was moving past denial!  This first step taught me to accept my fears while trusting in Christ.

Moving on to Elder Bednar's second step- Build upon the Foundation of Christ- was even more interesting.

 Not only did I have my feeling of comfort, but the Lord also sent me some help in this second step. First, randomly my kids would run up and tell me they were praying for me. Then, my mom told me she had put my name in the temple prayer book, and my husband -my rock- encouraged me any time my faith faltered. I also got to travel with a dear friend who was determined she wasn't going to die in a plane crash. All these people meant that I had the best form of traveler's insurance AND all of them collectively helped me to constantly build on my faith in Christ.

My second step taught me to see the blessings that surrounded me as I placed my faith where it needed to be, and did what I needed to do.

Finally, it was time to apply the last step, Pressing Forward with Faith on Christ.

This last principal also meant my time on living in denial, and sinking, was over- I was boarding an airplane, and leaving my family. I knew I had the comfort of the Holy Ghost, and the support of all those dear to me, but if I had to be honest, my heart was still racing and I felt sick to my stomach- And yet, I knew I could do it. I still complained- and cried a little bit too- but deep down I knew I could do it. At that point, I had passed from the state of "mortal fear" to "godly fear".

Elder Bednar said, "Godly fear is loving and trusting in Him. As we fear God more completely, we love Him more perfectly. And 'perfect love casteth out all fear' (Moroni 8:16). I promise the bright light of godly fear will chase away the dark shadows of mortal fears (see D&C 50:25) as we look to the Savior, build upon Him as our foundation, and press forward on His covenant path with consecrated commitment".

I think God might have laughed at me a little this last month, but He graciously and lovingly gave me a sense of peace and safety too. Furthermore, I can also see how much my testimony was able to grow. In facing my fears, I knew I had to embrace the Plan of Salvation, I had to put my trust in the Lord, and I had to turn to Christ wholeheartedly.

I wish I could have quoted Elder Bednar's talk a little more, but this month I just had to embrace his words, and apply his principles in my life. AND for the record, next month I will not be focusing on a talk that makes me face my fears!!! I think it's time for something a little happier...