And Then We Danced...

Obviously, this post took a LONG time. Apparently, I needed more than just 30 days to really feel like I mastered the principals I set out to develop. Sorry!

Since November, I have been studying Elder Wilford W. Andersen’s talk, The Music of the Gospel, from the April 2015 General Conference.  Now, I’ll be honest, and admit that when this talk was given, I really stopped paying attention. Once I heard the word, “music”, my Mommy-Tune-Out powers went to work. 

 

My husband would be the first to tell you that I am not a music person. I listen to Talk Radio, and have completely disavowed American Idol and The Voice (which are big hits in my home). It’s not that I hate music. I just find most music distracting, not up to my standards, or performed by poor role models who don’t deserve my time of day. I do love the Beatles, and for almost every mood and occasion in my life, I have certain “theme songs”, which are constantly running through my head (I tend to keep this to myself, although my poor kids have definitely heard me belt it out occasionally).

When I go to work, Donny Osmond sings “Let Get Down to Business... to defeat the Huns” in my head... And when I’m feeling really happy- I feel like I have to sing “Something Good” from the Sound of Music. Likewise, when I'm feeling down Nat King Cole’s “Smile” gets me through the day.

Anyhow, I was a little surprised when I pulled this talk up, and read through it, because it really isn’t about music at all- at least not in the traditional sense.

In Elder Andersen’s talk, he begins with a story of a medicine man who asked a doctor if he can dance. The doctor replied that he could not, and asked the medicine man to teach him. The medicine man retorted, “I can teach you to dance, but you have to hear the music”.

If truth be told, my life has felt out of sync for the last couple months, and I've felt prompted to take a step back and re-evaluate. Recognizing this, I remembered Elder Andersen saying, “Dancing without music is awkward and unfulfilling- even embarrassing”. That was exactly how I felt.

One day at work, my friend told me about “Dirty Dishes” by Scotty McCreery (Apparently, this guy is from American Idol- maybe I should pay more attention, huh?). In the song, the difficulties in life are acknowledged as blessings in disguise. Dirty dishes and a tired husband represent employment and food to eat, and noisy, messy, busy children are symbols of a home full of love. The words stirred something in my soul. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3QJyMq6UN48

Elder Andersen related, “The dance steps of the gospel are the things we do; the music of the gospel is the joyful spiritual feeling that comes from the Holy Ghost… The dance steps require discipline, but the joy of the dance will be experienced only when we come to hear the music.”

This was literally the music of the Spirit I had been trying to hear. For the entire month of November, this became my new theme song. For the first time since high school I put a song on “REPEAT”, and forced my family to listen to it non-stop. Yay!- For Mommy always getting her own way!

By the end of the month, the “music” in my home got some much needed tuning.... and in December, I started to practice my dancing. I took some time to reconnect with loved ones that I hadn’t seen in a while, to cherish the memories of those whom I missed, and teach my children the melody of the Holy Spirit. I put my phone away for almost a month- which is an amazing experience that drives the world mad, but fills your life with peace. Then, I gathered my small family so we could dance to the music.


And it was magic.

I don’t know how else to describe our transformation. It was a time of pure harmony, where the Spirit led us by the hand. It was so special and sacred to me that I can’t put the feelings that existed in our home into words, and I can’t relate one specific memory either.

It was just magic. Only those who have taken the time to hear the song of the Spirit, and step to the dance of the gospel can understand the experience we had in our home.

I meant to write this post at the beginning of January, but I wanted to take a couple of extra weeks to practice listening to the music, as we gradually all returned to school, extra-curricular activities, and work. I didn’t want to lose the magic we have all worked so hard to embrace.

This last week, we actually held a PLANNED Family Home Evening! We focused on D &C 88:119-

“Organize yourselves; prepare every needful thing; and establish a house, even a house of prayer, a house of fasting, a house of faith, a house of learning, a house of glory, a house of order, a house of God.”

Together, we went through each part of that scripture, and made suggestions on how we could keep and improve the dance in our home.

I know, most of our suggestions and ideas will take time, but I know that if we focus on listening to the music, the dance will come naturally continue to follow.

Be an Example and a Light

Last month, I was excited to sit and listen to General Conference, and couldn't wait to hear from the prophet. In his talk, Be an Example and a Light, President Monson encouraged us to carry the light of Christ. He said, "We become examples of the believers by living the gospel of Jesus Christ in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, and in purity. As we do so, our lights will shine for others to see."

At first, I thought I was a pretty good example. I have pretty clean speech- at least compared to my husband. My testimony is solid. I have great friends that help me eat healthy.

... I could probably do better by adding some exercise, and taking the Gypsy Sisters reality show off my DVR. I figured my light could use some improvement, but I was already on the right path.

Then my brother, Elias- in all intents and purposes- died. I let the light President Monson referred to dim. His words still lingered, but I didn't know what to do with them.

I failed this month in the sense that I wasn't the example I set out to be, but I did gain perspective. I am surrounded by the light of many of God's servants. They have lifted me, and carried me, and I am grateful that they have touched my life. This is what I have learned in relation to the prophet's counsel:

In Being an Example in Word and Conversation: I learned this month that just because I don't cuss, I can be an example in conversation by bringing more love into my words, and less judgment. I spent a beautiful week listening to friends and family share their thoughts, and felt the spirit so strongly in their words. President Monson said, "May we follow the example of the Savior, who spoke with tolerance and kindness throughout His ministry".

In Being an Example in Charity: I learned that I need to be more open to service. I always know that I need to serve others, but I am usually only willing when it is convenient. When my world crashed this month, I was grateful for all those who sent meals, offered their homes, and helped us to send Elias off the best way we could. I realized that it is time to focus more on the priorities in my life, and set boundaries on my time so that I can serve my family and my fellowman with all my heart.

In Being an Example in Faith: I learned that I still have more to learn about the Gospel, and God's plan for me. I have spent many hours this month studying the Plan of Salvation. I have enjoyed the assurance of the Holy Ghost as my spirit recognized the truth's of the Gospel.

In Being an Example in Purity: I learned that my body needs spiritual AND physical care in order for me to achieve peace. After the services, I felt overwhelmed, forgetful, and unnerved... Possibly, because we spent a week eating some of Elias's favorite foods- not the healthiest- AND I ignored life's responsibilities entirely. Luckily, I have loved ones who are willing to feed me and exercise with me. Thank goodness! Their love has helped me to refocus, and let my body heal with my spirit.

In Being an Example in Spirit: I learned that for a couple weeks I "lost" my happiness, and I needed to choose to "find" it daily. One day, years ago, one of my friends mentioned that I was always happy. We had a long talk about why I would always be so happy- especially when I had really been feeling sad. The conclusion was just that I was a "happy Mormon".

This month I wasn't so happy, and the last couple of weeks I have had to decide that I was going to have a good day no matter what. I love this quote from President Monson's talk,

          Life is perfect for none of us, and at times the challenges and difficulties we face may

          become overwhelming, causing our light to dim. However, with help from our

          Heavenly Father, coupled with support from others, we can regain that light which will  

          illuminate our own path once again and provide the light others may need.

It's funny- When I first heard President Monson's talk I thought it would be an easy talk to live by, because I figured I was already doing my part. BUT, Heavenly Father taught me that I still have much to learn. Even more ironic, is that He gave me this lesson by the shining light of Christ that burned from within others.

I am grateful for their examples, and for the nurturing love these friends and family offered my soul and my testimony. I hope to share their light, as I work to make my shine more fervently.

 

Therefore, They Hushed Their Fears

I sleep with a night light because I'm afraid of the dark. I throw salt because I'm scared I'll have bad luck. AND I have a little bit of a panic attack anytime change comes my way. So, it goes without saying that when I needed to leave my family for a business trip, I thought I was going to die... seriously... I WAS GOING TO DIE! 

As my departure day approached, I felt sicker and sicker. It was then that I reached over to read my General Conference Talk of the Month...

In October, I wanted to focus on Therefore They Hushed Their Fears, by Elder Bednar, from the April 2015 conference (https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2015/04/therefore-they-hushed-their-fears?lang=eng).  In his sermon, Elder Bednar outlines three principles that will help us to overcome fear by relying on Christ. They are: (1) look to Christ, (2) build upon the foundation of Christ, and (3) press forward with faith in Christ.

Here was how that played out...

At first I tried living in denial. For the record- that method does not work that well. As September rolled around it was getting clearer that I was going whether I liked it or not. It was then that I stopped reading over Elder Bednar's talk, and really began to study it. That was my first step in looking to Christ to find my peace, because if anyone was going to get me to safety it was Him.

Leaving my family behind was easily the hardest obstacle I've faced in a long time.When I was 16, my Dad passed away while he was on vacation. Leaving my family scared me, but them losing me terrified me. If I were to look to Christ in facing one of my biggest fears, I needed prayer, and I needed it constantly.

Elder Bednar shared, "I envision Peter responding fervently and immediately to the Savior’s invitation. With his eyes fixed upon Jesus, he stepped out of the boat and miraculously walked on the water. Only when his gaze was diverted by the wind and the waves did he become afraid and begin to sink."

One morning, as I said a silent and quick prayer while watching my kids leave for school. It's seems funny now, but I asked God to just bring me home safely, even if I had to return to Him the next day. In response to my prayer, the Lord granted me a deep feeling of comfort and understanding.

My next challenge was embracing that answer, and trusting I would be alright. There were definitely plenty of times when I sank and forgot about my witness, but at least I was moving past denial!  This first step taught me to accept my fears while trusting in Christ.

Moving on to Elder Bednar's second step- Build upon the Foundation of Christ- was even more interesting.

 Not only did I have my feeling of comfort, but the Lord also sent me some help in this second step. First, randomly my kids would run up and tell me they were praying for me. Then, my mom told me she had put my name in the temple prayer book, and my husband -my rock- encouraged me any time my faith faltered. I also got to travel with a dear friend who was determined she wasn't going to die in a plane crash. All these people meant that I had the best form of traveler's insurance AND all of them collectively helped me to constantly build on my faith in Christ.

My second step taught me to see the blessings that surrounded me as I placed my faith where it needed to be, and did what I needed to do.

Finally, it was time to apply the last step, Pressing Forward with Faith on Christ.

This last principal also meant my time on living in denial, and sinking, was over- I was boarding an airplane, and leaving my family. I knew I had the comfort of the Holy Ghost, and the support of all those dear to me, but if I had to be honest, my heart was still racing and I felt sick to my stomach- And yet, I knew I could do it. I still complained- and cried a little bit too- but deep down I knew I could do it. At that point, I had passed from the state of "mortal fear" to "godly fear".

Elder Bednar said, "Godly fear is loving and trusting in Him. As we fear God more completely, we love Him more perfectly. And 'perfect love casteth out all fear' (Moroni 8:16). I promise the bright light of godly fear will chase away the dark shadows of mortal fears (see D&C 50:25) as we look to the Savior, build upon Him as our foundation, and press forward on His covenant path with consecrated commitment".

I think God might have laughed at me a little this last month, but He graciously and lovingly gave me a sense of peace and safety too. Furthermore, I can also see how much my testimony was able to grow. In facing my fears, I knew I had to embrace the Plan of Salvation, I had to put my trust in the Lord, and I had to turn to Christ wholeheartedly.

I wish I could have quoted Elder Bednar's talk a little more, but this month I just had to embrace his words, and apply his principles in my life. AND for the record, next month I will not be focusing on a talk that makes me face my fears!!! I think it's time for something a little happier...
 

This Latter-Day Saint is Going to Keep on Trying

Okay, so here's the honest truth-

Lately, I have not been all that great with reading my scriptures... in fact, I'm REALLY bad!!! I have two children with "crazy children" lives and a husband who is a child at heart (yes- he really does act like he's 13, he even admits it, but he's mine and I love him).

 I'm also on the PTA board, the School Site Council, I do my best with a Sunday calling, and I work about 30 hours a week on top of the errands and housekeeping. At the end of the day, I crawl into bed and fall fast asleep without even glancing at the dusty set of scriptures sitting on my night stand.

When I first admitted I was failing at my scripture study, I downloaded an app that would give me a "Scripture-a-Day", but still there are days where I don't even glance at it. Then I had an idea-  Since my daily life won't be changing, maybe studying the conference talks would at least be a small step in the right direction. AND just to really stretch my spiritual muscles, I figured I would blog about it so I had some form of accountability.

So here I go-

My first talk I want to focus on is Elder Renlund's talk from the 2015 April General Conference titled, Latter-day Saints Keep on Trying (https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2015/04/latter-day-saints-keep-on-trying?lang=eng). 

Elder Renlund's talk is a beautiful speech on perseverance. My favorite quote is, "God cares a lot more about who we are and who we are becoming than about who we once were. He cares that we keep on trying". He also compares church to a "big hospital" where we all "come.. to be helped". Obviously, none of us are perfect, but deep down we know that the Gospel is. Elder Renlund's reference to the Atonement defines this idea perfectly, because without Christ our efforts would be in vain. And as the talk tells us, "a saint is a sinner who keeps on trying" (Nelson Mandela).   

 

Now, I'm the kind of person who likes order and rules, and when I mess up, sometimes it's easier to just turn my back on the mountains I can't conquer, or just plain want to avoid.  I am definitely not the person who keeps on trying. I'm the type that just gives up and sticks to what is working. AND SO, that night I asked God to help me find an area in my life where He felt I could try a little bit harder.

Ultimately, my inspiration centered on my church attendance. I can honestly say that we almost always make it to church each Sunday, but we are also almost always  late. I like to blame this sad fact on my child-like husband, who without fail always takes longer then myself and my children to get ready, but deep down I know I could try harder too.

So here's what happened, the first Sunday I made being on time my goal- we did really good!!! We even sat in the pews, instead of hiding in the foyer, and sneaking in after the sacrament! Brownie points for all!!

The following Sunday I was scheduled to work (my job requires Sunday work occasionally), but I knew I could count on my hubby to carry the torch- so no worries! Besides... I could refocus the next week...

Unfortunately the next week we had to fumigate our house, and we were homeless for a few days.

Apparently, when I made going to church on time my goal... Life had a fun time getting in the way. 

In the end, you could say that my first month of "LDS General Conference Living" was a GREAT, BIG fail. But the neat thing was I had some unexpected improvements in other ways.

First, I'm also pretty bad at Fast Sundays. I usually realize it's Fast Sunday after I've already finished breakfast.... but this month my family got through with flying colors. Secondly, we've never felt too bad when we've had to make the occasional Sunday run to the store, but out of nowhere keeping the Sabbath day holy was very important to me.   

 

In his talk, Elder Renlund refers to Shakespeare's As You Like It, by relating the experiences of Oliver and Orlando. After Oliver has attempted to hurt his younger brother, Orlando, Oliver's own life is saved by Orlando's efforts. Oliver then repents of his ways, but recognizes his faults as that which made him stronger.    

Obviously, on many levels I can be classified as a pretty poor Mormon- I can't get to church on time, I forget Fast Sundays, we shop on the Sabbath, and I have a problem with daily scripture study. However, if I look back at Elder Renlund's talk, I am inspired to persevere.

And there you have it-

In my first attempt at living the principals set forth in an General Conference talk, I didn't quite meet my big goal of making it to church on time. HOWEVER, I did fail, but only to become "a saint who keeps on trying".

I know God loves me, and that the Savior's sacrifice will help me to return to my Heavenly Father despite my failures. I am so grateful of the Atonement and the living prophets who are here to help me become the daughter God created me to be.

Here's the link to Elder Renlund's talk. I hope you have some inspiration of your own.

 

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2015/04/latter-day-saints-keep-on-trying?lang=eng